Stillness

The full moon made the snow glow in the woods around our house last night. The tall trees in silhouette and the silence reminded me why so many Christmas carols talk about stillness. The wise men and the composers of old seemed to understand something about stress relief in nature before we started marketing “nature baths”. Come to think of it, my dad introduced us to nature baths on the farm, although our “baths in the barn” usually included cow manure and corn silage.  It makes me smile. How did we get to a place where someone would try to sell you a walk in the woods? Worse yet, why would anyone buy one, especially in Wisconsin? As Thornton Wilder said, “Whenever you come near the human race, there’s layers and layers of nonsense.” Still, it’s often good nonsense.

Think of the personal and family “traditions” you engage in that no one else would understand. The rituals that spring from your ethnic background, your family or your community. Often surrounding food and its preparation, some were delicious, others, not so much. My Dad insisted on lefse and fruit soup at Christmas. It was great. He also wanted sardines and “clobbered” milk. Oh, my!  Yet, it was more than just the food. There was a connection to something beyond the present moment and the need to eat. For my mother, it went beyond the food. Even the recipes were sacred and the tools used to make them. Jeanette still brings out cherished pots and dishes to sanctify certain traditions. She has recipes written in her mother’s hand. We delight in the rituals. Why?

We like to say it’s for the kids, but I think it’s just as important for us. Most of us have come to understand that life is a mystery. We KNOW there is no way to predict our future in any meaningful way. We witness evidence of this on a daily basis. (Even hourly if you focus on social media.) We KNOW people — even those who have done all the things your supposed to do _who have suffered through no fault of their own. But we also know people, lots of them actually, who have managed to find a way to build the best future they can. We have found a way to be “happy enough” as we strive to find our best lives.  And for most of us, our best lives reflect the values shared in all our Christmas stories. Hope, kindness, love, compassion, humility, grace. We’ve created a whole season of the year that gives us permission to “be nice” in everything we do. We are permitted to give each other presents, to have parties, to sing songs together, even to eat CANDY. Some see it as a solemn religious story, others see it as a fun folktale. How can that be bad? (I know some will argue that Christmas is just another marketing gimmick to sell more junk. Maybe so. Just remember Thornton Wilder’s quote and laugh. Enjoy the stuff you want and ignore the rest.) Let’s just let our kids believe in magic for a little longer and give ourselves a chance to remember what that felt like.

  

We live in a cynical age. We are inundated by “news” organizations and social media with stories of crime and catastrophe. We are besieged by misinformation. Still, we want our kids to be critical thinkers who have faith in the human spirit. We want them to be “realistic optimists," but we also want them to enjoy innocence and childhood. The rituals and traditions we create around Christmas are the stories our children will remember. We know the world is filled with much goodness and hope. We need only see it and share it with each other. 

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!