Learning to Breathe Again

I was in Jeanette’s kindergarten class singing Christmas songs today. There is no better way to understand the influence of music than to watch kindergarteners sing. Let’s just say it engages them. I also noticed how much they watch their teacher. They try very hard to meet her expectations, especially in the way they treat others. But they also watch her interact with her colleagues and today, even me. It is so easy to forget as a teacher – and as a parent - they are always watching. I used to spend a great deal of time trying to plan lessons with specific outcomes in mind, only to discover the most important learning had little to do with what I planned. It took me a long time to accept that reality, especially as a father. We are sometimes so focused on the what, we lose sight of the who and why. My youngest daughter recently made this truth clearer in a powerful way.

Over a decade ago, Jeanette and I were involved in a terrible car wreck. It disrupted our lives and made that July very difficult. Like many families dealing with a crisis, Jeanette and I – especially Jeanette – worked hard to try to keep life normal. As things slowly improved, we left that time behind and moved on with our lives. Occasionally, we might laugh about some embarrassing moments or the kindness of friends, but we never really talked about that July. I thought it was history. Then Cassie wrote a poem for my birthday last month entitled July. She used poetry to reveal her truth about those days. While her Mom and I thought we had kept our worries away from our eleven-year-old daughter, she was busy making sense of things on her own. The timing here seems especially appropriate. While Christmas can sometimes become commercial and frivolous, at its core it reveals the grace that keeps this world. I hope your Christmas is filled with love and gratitude. Here’s Cassie’s poem.

July

 by Cassie Danielson

 Hit at an intersection by a drunk driver,

Their dark green Trail Blazer rolled, then rolled twice more into a farmer’s field on a warm July night.

That summer our refrigerator filled with lasagna,

A man, a stranger, came to my front door with a box of soda in glass bottles. I thought

It must be special.

The late afternoon sun on his face,

The way he fumbled for words.

A nurse prepared me for the blood on the floor.

Hi Sweet Pea, with the grin he had given me all my life.

Hi Dad.

The helicopter whisked him away.

I was going into the 6^th grade.

Mom came home first. When her friends planned a night at our house, I remember

The nail polish Laura painted on my fingers,

Blue polish with a white design on top,

The kind that use those little pieces of tape.

The silver moon shone through the crescent window in our living room,

I heard him say,

If I knew it was going to hurt this bad, I would rather be dead.

He did not know I was awake.

My dad would not say that if he knew I was listening.

In court the driver’s family cried next to mine.

His sister – or mother – handed me a Kleenex.

I wondered what she thought,

What he felt.

My mom’s skin healed over shards of glass that gradually lifted to the surface years later.

I learned a body could do that.

I found comfort in the sound of my dad learning to breathe again.

There is No Darkness But Ignorance

Like many of you, we just hosted a house full of friends and relatives to give thanks and eat too much. Among the guests was a collection of children of various ages. After dinner the older kids went outside to shoot hoops or talk. Inside the younger kids played.  Of course, having a kindergarten teacher in the group made the playing easier. The crayons and paper and games and forts – made with sheets and clothespins, thank you very much! – captivated the little ones.  I couldn’t help but smile as I watched them lose track of time and themselves as they entered the imaginary places they created. (I can also see two lovely drawings taped to the refrigerator that Jeanette and I received from our visiting artists.) Jeanette has often talked about the vital importance of letting children have “free play” time. The time when children use their own imagination to solve problems and explore at their own pace. This got me thinking about recent discussions with friends and colleagues about the nature of learning and school. What do we want our children to know and be able to do? What does it mean to be “well educated?” How do we determine the value of an education? Of course, these conversations have been going on forever, but here in Wisconsin we have always recognized that our communities are richer if our citizens are well educated and well informed. At a time when so much misinformation is so widely spread, we need citizens to be critical thinkers. Yet, I have recently heard people say that we should stop encouraging some kids to attend college. We need to steer kids toward a trade, so they can earn a living. Why should these kids waste their time and money in school if they can earn $50,000 a year without it?  I worry we are limiting the potential of some citizens and hurting our democracy.

When my children were very young, I was frequently amazed – and often exasperated – by their curiosity. They wanted to investigate everything. As every parent knows, there is a good reason to put safety locks on every cupboard. (Even those got investigated!) Children are hungry to learn about the world that surrounds them. At first, education was just a family thing.  But eventually we realized that we were all better off if the community helped educate our children. We know that parents and family have a huge influence on their kids, but we parents also know we can’t give what we don’t have. I did my best to help my children learn to write, but I needed help teaching them math. I know a lot about living in rural Wisconsin, but I want my kids to know about Athens and Paris, too. In short, I’m grateful that the founders of America recognized the critical role education and enlightenment needed to play in America. It was so important they made it available to every child and insisted that everyone share the cost of our public schools.  The wisdom of giving every citizen the chance to keep learning is part of America’s greatness. We know that knowledge and information are not only critical for our democracy, they are invaluable to individuals. How have we gotten to the point where education has been devalued for so many of our people?

Perhaps it is the constant suggestion by certain groups that our schools are failing. For decades people have heard this cry. Certainly, some schools are not working.  But, for most people, the public school model has served us well for two centuries. Perhaps it is because some people say schools cost too much. In Wisconsin we cut millions and millions from our schools because Walker said we were broke. Also, the cost of going to college is enormous.  Perhaps it’s because some view advanced education as elitist. It doesn’t help that some well-educated people are arrogant elitists. Maybe it’s because our standards-based, one size fits all curriculum and the endless standardized testing makes school dull and uninteresting. Perhaps it’s because businesses need workers for jobs few people want.  Maybe it’s all of these. Whatever the case, we should be using all our ingenuity to create lifelong learning programs that are convenient, affordable, and interesting. We know how to make good schools, especially here in Wisconsin.  We understand the critical necessity for highly trained professional teachers, appropriate facilities and resources, and best practice techniques to help kids. We have some of the best K-12 schools and colleges in the world. We just need to be willing to pay for it so everyone has the chance to benefit. What we can’t do is stand by while certain kids are told education is not really all that important.

The American Dream has always included the idea that every citizen should have the chance to reach their highest potential. As it stands, far too many are being told that their highest potential is limited by their background and income. Everyone deserves the chance to do productive work and to study to their highest level. We know the consequences of ignorance, but let’s never forget the benefits of enlightenment.